Along with the original essay the complete instructions, as well as the course readings will be uploaded. Please edit according to the teachers comments below in order to improve the original paper. I have put 14 sources used in the number of sources required, however my original paper already has 14, so only add however many sources needed to enhance the original.
My main comments are:
Overall, you are in the right direction with regard to the connection between inequality, populism and LMEs/CMEs. The broad structure is fine and it is good that you have different sections for wage negotiations, education etc. Do make sure, however, to have a short road map in the introduction in which you explain what you are going to do and how the different sections are connected.
The problems are:
1) there are very significant expression problems. The paper is at times impossible to understand. There seem to be extensive paraphrases (this is fine, as long as they are cited) that use poorly chosen terms (e.g. “establishments,” for what was probably “institutions” in the original text. I suggest you take care of these expression problems, as, if not corrected, they will significantly reduce your marks.
2) Sometimes there statements that are not correct, e.g. ” As noted earlier, the nature of the workforce in the coordinated market economies, most of the organizations hesitate at committing many funds in increasing the levels of training and development of their employees.” Leaving aside the expression problems, this statement seems to argue that employers in CMEs do not want to invest in training, which is not correct. Another example: it not true that in CMEs the government owns “most companies and banks.”
3) On several occasions you refers to sources (“others,” etc.): you should make explicit reference to the sources you are referring to
4) The treatment of populism, LMEs and CMEs is basically correct, but it is rather vague. For instance, why does the profit motive in the US discourage unions, as you argue? Also, employers in CMEs are also motivated by profit. When you discuss populism, how come populist movements are at the same time authoritarian and in favor of direct engagement in politics (as with referenda). You should spend more time (and words) disentangling the various arguments you make, i.e. explaining how the various statements are connected.
Anyway, as I said I think your broad approach is correct. Hope this helps.