A candle is lit up to bring light to others, it is sacrificed to light up others’ life. A human is able to sacrifice himself/herself just to save another life. In A Thousand Splendid Suns, Mariam built up her capability of resilient by demonstrating her unconditional love to Laila. An individual is compelled to endure until someone who suffers from the same difficultes shows unconditional empathy that allows him/her to empower resilience by sacrificing themselves.
When an individual fails to understand how his/her action affect others, his/her lack of empathy forces him/her to endure. Initially, Mariam was naive and unable to put herself into her Nana’s shoes. Her consistency of going to find Jalil and went against Nana even when she warned her not to go was the key reason of Nana’s suicide. Mariam’s incapability of realizing the consequence that comes after her action leads to her mom’s death. If people are unable to perceive the intended meaning of someone’s warning, they can merely accept and suffer from the unwanted consequences. After Nana’s death, Mariam received conditional empathy from Jalil and soon being sent to marry Rasheed, who was twice her age. Nana used to remind her that women needed to endure, and the life of endure started from here as all she could do was to obey her husband. The idea of endure demonstrates that as an unwanted person, as a member at the edge of the society, her purpose is to suffer from cruelty that are brought by her husband and obey his domination, since every disobedience will only result in a punishment. Mariam’s miscarriage worsen her marriage with Rasheed, his increased abusive behaviour makes her even more afraid of him and she starts to understand “how much a woman could tolerate when she was afraid.” (pg.98) Mariam lost two molar teeth from being forced to chew pebble by Rasheed is a clear example of her living under the name of endurance. Her tiny naive decision of leaving Nana leads her to all these miserable consequences. If an individual does not consider their action before they make a move, they will have to accept and endure from the consequences.
Moreover, one showing unconditional empathy to someone that suffer from the same difficulties leads to an empowerment of their resilience. Both Mariam and Laila were victimized by the same brutal husband constantly. This allowed them to empathize for one another and develop a bond based on their traumatic experiences. Laila stood out to help Mariam while she was being beaten up by Rasheed was the moment they developed the bond of empathy. Laila was the first one that showed Mariam unconditional empathy. She did not scared of the consequences of going against Rasheed, all she cared about was rescuing Mariam from Rasheed. The presence of Laila leads Mariam to a realize that life shouldn’t just be about enduring, but rather is about defying cultural norms and stereotypes. That was the time that Mariam experienced unconditional empathy, and it is also the time that their bond started to build. Their bond of empathy is empowered when Mariam accompanied Laila for the entirety of her trip to the hospital. Mariam expressed compassion towards Laila, as the doctor told them that they lacked anesthetics, “their hands locked together” (pg.292) during the entire surgery. Holding on to Mariam’s hand is a symbol of their bond, it gave Laila not only moral support, but also proved how empathetic Mariam was indeed. The fact that Mairam told Laila she was her daughter signifies Mariam’s emotional growth and demonstrated her ability to empathize for her lost mother. After witnessing Laila being abused by Rasheed due to the visit of Tariq, Mariam showed strong compassion towards Laila. She also showed compassion concerning herself, due to enduring Rasheed’s beastly actions for many years. If Mariam was against Rasheed’s treatment of Laila, she would never be content with her own situation either. After the nail in the coffin, it was the time for her to act. Mariam then “brought down the shovel” (pg. 349) and killed Rasheed in order to protect Laila. This act of carnage was performed out of the need to survive and an outburst of all the emotions locked deep within. “This time, she gave it everything she had”(pg.349), her empathizing, with Laila gave her strength, and allowed her to overthrow Rasheed’s reign of terror. This empowered Mariam’s resilience, as she buried the past and with an iron heart struck down the tyrant. Empathy and compassion unlocked Mariam’s true feelings, and allowed her to act without keeping the past in mind. Her resilience was boosted, as she was no longer cowered at the sight of Rasheed. Rather it was enhanced since she put an end to his life. The act though brutal was necessary to empower Mariam as a person and do justice Laila, who she empathized with.
Finally, an individual’s strong resilience allows them to sacrifice themselves in order to achieve the best outcome. Laila and Mariam buried Rasheed and Mariam suggest Laila took the kids with her and leave Kulba with Tariq. When Laila expressed her wish to take Mariam with her, Mariam said“‘I meant it for you, Laila jo.’” (pg. 357) Mariam continued her resilience by willing to sacrifice herself to ensure the safety of Laila and her kids. She understood that she commited a crime and she had to be the one who faced all the consequences. She did not want Laila to get involved with the murder, which demonstrates her growth and ultimate empathy towards Laila. She did not want Laila to end up being like her who lived a miserable life, therefore, she chose to sacrifice herself to save Laila. Mariam also proves her resilient at the end of her life, she was able to face her death with calm and perception. She was leaving the world “as a women who had loved and been loved back” and “a person of consequence at last.”(pg.370) Mariam’s selfless death creates a juxtaposition with Rasheed’s pitiful death, which once again proves that she displays her strong empathy and resilience. She was not someone that only endure, she was a woman who was resilient and have a purpose. A person is able to demonstrate his/her resilience by sacrificing himself/herself for a rememberable purpose.
Laila and Mariam’s story proved that the absence of empathy in an oppressed person’s life will lead himher to endure, and when two people suffer from the same difficulties, they are able to share a bond of empathy, therefore, when an one of them is resilient, the other will also become resilient because of their shared bond. Endure is not the key of life, instead, unconditional empathy is the the power for people to build up resilience.
